As a man I don’t do illness very well, so needless to say my recent cold has been in my opinion a brush with death.

To celebrate my recovery here’s a poem.


Lurking in my mucous membrane
Causing me to cough and hack.
Posh people call you sputum
What’s the deal with that..

You’re phlegm !

You’re the cause of my soggy hanky
And the reason my sinks blocked.
Malicious little green goblins
Shoot everywhere when I cough…

That’s phlegm.

I’m living on a diet of cough sweets
Soiled hankies fill my laundry bin.
My throat feels like sandpaper
What a state I’m in…

I hate phlegm.


2 thoughts on “Phlegm

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