The Terms and Conditions of Life

I really have no idea where the inspiration for this poem came from, I suppose all the loan shark adverts and similar rubbish that I have seen lodged in my head until there was no more room ( a quick process ) and came tumbling out in the form of this poem.


Be aware that terms and conditions apply,
The value of your life can go up or down.
Take note your sanity could be at risk
If you don’t read all the small print now.
We courteously remind you the life you have
Is expected to last you a whole lifetime.
And it’s absolutely 99% guaranteed
To suit you absolutely 99% of the time.
You may find your life is constrictive
You may find that it gives you a rash
This is a natural period of breaking in
You should adjust to your life quite fast.

And remember….

The management reserve the right to
Change all terms and conditions.
No exchange or refund will be offered
If you think part of your life is missing.

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