Oh Lord won’t you buy me the latest iPhone?

Inspired by my own poor phone, with apologies to Janis Joplin.

Oh Lord won’t you buy me the latest iPhone?
My friends all have one, I’m feeling alone.
Hardly worked all my lifetime , a job I’ve not known,
So Lord won’t you buy me the latest iPhone?

Oh Lord won’t you buy me a 3D TV?
PPI cold callers are trying to find me.
I rarely get out of bed each day before three,
So Lord won’t you buy me a 3D TV?

Oh Lord won’t you buy me a night on the beer?
I’m counting on you Lord, the pub is quite near.
Prove that you love me and let’s both say cheers,
Oh Lord won’t you buy me a night on the beer?

Oh Lord won’t you buy me the latest iPhone?
I need to contact my dealer, I want to feel stoned.
My meds are wearing off, I thrash and I moan.
Oh Lord won’t you buy me the latest iPhone?

That’s it.