Lockdown Birthday


Lockdown birthday
meet friends on your driveway,
unsure to stay how far away
they throw a card your way.

I got out of bed late again today
I shaved my head again today,
I organised the shed again today
I washed my hands until they bled again today.

I might phone my mum today
I might ignore everyone today,
I might just stare at the sun today
I might just let my brain go numb today.

Lockdown Birthday
ignore the news today,
crack open the gin at midday
pray everyone I can’t see is OK.

Bladder Control to Major Tom


If you find that you prefer Master Chef to the Walking Dead
If you’d rather neck a bottle of Sanatogen than a bottle of red.
If you can’t remember when you had more than stubble on your head
If it takes at least two Viagra just to get you out of bed.
If you remember vinyl the first time it was around
If it’s only when your hip gives way do you actually get on down.
If you don’t have a onesie but prefer an old terry towelling dressing gown.
Then bloody hell you must be old.

If you think Stormzy is what appears as the rain begins
If you think Little Mix is something that goes in gin.
If you think you’re already going to Hell so who cares if you commit another sin
If reading the obituaries of your old school friends makes you grin.
If you only have to look at a doughnut and you get fat
If your favourite type of pussy is a neutered tabby cat.
If your more confused than a chameleon in a Skittles bag
If your mates can’t remember opal fruits and insist they’re Starburst then that is that.
It’s a sign that just like me you’re bloody old.

 

Happy Seventh Birthday to my blog!

Poem for my Daughter on her Eighth Birthday


daughter-at-8-yearsold

Where did those eight years go?
When did our time spent together seem to move at the speed of light?
Vanishing so quickly that the present rapidly becomes memory.

When did you grow so much?
So my back creaks and arms ache when I pick you up,
Remembering when I once lifted you with ease.

When did we start to like the same TV programs?
Laughing like drains at the Cartoon Network.
Yet I used to flee the room if you put on “In the Night Garden.”

When did you become such a sponge for knowledge?
Devouring books and enjoying historical stories.
Making me rack my brains at your questions before I resort to Google.

When did you become so graceful?
Twisting and pirouetting while watching Strictly,
While I with my leaden feet look on in awe.

I know where our eight years went.
They passed quickly because enjoyment always will.
Time never stands still when a father is with the daughter he loves.