The A to Z of Jobs I’d Rather be Doing.

I was watching The great british Bake off the other night and some one popped up to make a comment and their job title was ” food historian. ” This got me thinking what a great job that would be and what other jobs I could be doing now if I had received better careers advice ( or just made an effort to pay more attention at school ! )

A is for archaeologist, like Indiana Jones.
B is for beer tester, drinking till my liver moans.
C is for caddy, making golfers miss their stroke.
D is for dandy, always a natty dressed bloke.
E is for Elvis look-a-like, voice and belly vast.
F is for food historian, gorging on the past.
G is for games tester, so my hobbies also my job.
H is for hacker, from the rich I’d rob.
I is for innkeeper, propping his bars.
J is for journalist, spying on the stars.
K is for Karma monitor, helping sort out your next life.
L is for loony on the bus, scaring your wife.
M is for mail man, handling post with negligence.
N is for Narcotics agent, sampling all the evidence.
O is for organic cabbage farmers that make you fart all day.
P is for poetry, if only I could make it pay its way
Q is for quiz master, never getting a question wrong.
R is for radio DJ, playing only my favourite song.
S is for Santa Claus, dashing through the snow.
T is for TV critic, glued to my favourite show.
U is for umbrella maker, plenty of work in this country.
V is for vampire slayer, like Buffy but less sexy.
W is for writer, working on my new book.
X is for xylophone tester, (ok here I got stuck.)
Y is for yodeller, yodelling long and loud.
Z is for zephyr watcher, head always in a cloud.


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